Category Archives: Rants

On Feminism, Anti-Feminism, and the Things That Mystify Me

Kelly Barnhill

I am ten years old. I am riding a banana seat bike through the alleys. I am allowed to go as far as 31st Street, and then I have to turn back. Words cannot describe how much I love this bike. It is turquoise with sparkly flower decals and I ride back and forth through blocks of alleys singing the entire “Mary Poppins” soundtrack at the top of my lungs. My knees are scratched. My hair needs a comb. I probably haven’t brushed my teeth.

A man in a car pulls up. He opens the window. He asks my name. I have been well-trained. I have learned about good touches and bad touches in school. I know that good people don’t drive up to children on bikes. My teachers have been very clear. I take a good look at his face. I notice his red hair. I take…

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To The Women Who Choose Not To Have Kids

Thank you for this. My main reason for not wanting children is because I know I’d resent them, so thanks for understanding

Thought Catalog

To the women who choose not to have kids, I have one thing to say: thank you.

You probably don’t hear it enough. In fact, you probably don’t hear it at all. What you do hear is an array of pro-childbearing responses, such as, “You’ll change your mind someday,” or, “Doesn’t your mother want grandkids?” or, “You’ll never find a husband if you never want to have kids.”

All things considered, “thank you” is probably on the opposite end of what you hear.

But seriously: thank you. Thank you for recognizing that childrearing isn’t for you and being true to who you are. It doesn’t mean you hate kids. It just means that raising one is not part of your path in life.

Thank you for not succumbing to the societal pressures. I’ve known far too many parents who had kids because that’s what was expected of them. Working in…

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Gender and sex

Soo I’m about to bang on my equalist gender neutral drum right now.

Sex isn’t binary so neither should sexuality, gender or orientation be.

Yes yes I know, you were taught in school about genetics, and genetics say male and female right. Don’t they.

Wait you mean my teachers told me only about XX and XY because explaining about the other variations was too hard. Now why would they do that?

Well, because it iss hard to explain why some people don’t come in XX or XY and how that affects them.

Some people are intersexed, some people are technically not sexed, so why do we only have two boxes at birth when we actually need more?

We need XX, XY, XXY, XXX, XYY and XO. And those are just the ones which happen often  enough to have been recorded and studied and named. There are thousands of people in the world who are told they are not people due to not being XX or XY straight and breeding, is this really right, especially knowing that this idea we have of a binary life is based on fallacy?

Also if anyone doubts me read this: Chromosome Abnormalities

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Religion, and why it’s not my choice

Belief in something can be good, and constructive, and bring people together. Belief in a higher power brings people together. It’s when we start giving it labels thaat it all goes to s***.

I love belief it is one of the most powerful forces that works in humanity. It gives people strenght they would not otherwise have, and conviction.

But I cannot abide by any belief that causes harm to another, and lets face it, when we start defining belief everyone gets hurt, rules are put in place, “everyone must believe this or they are wrong” and it just does not work that way.

I can almost guarentee that if you have two people of the same religion and ask them the same questions that they would give at least somewhat varied answers.

That is because belief is individual. It should not be constrained.

This is not a rant about how believeing in god/god is bad, this is about why the institution of religion is bad. About how taking a set of core beliefs and ruling people live by the beliefs that

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If anyone stumbling across here hasn’t figured it out yet I’m a bit of an equalist. 

I believe everyone has the right to the same chances, even if they do need more help to acheive the same goals.

This comes from my upbringing and my personal issues.

I have two SpLD’s being ADHD and Dyspraxia. Both affect my day to day life. They make quite a big impact, but because they are not obvious I get an awful lot of s*** on a day to day basis for certain behaviours I exhibit. 

I also don’t conform to society’s expectation of behaviour for either my age or my physical sex. This is because I do not feel comfortable with doing that. I never have, and I refuse to act in a certain way because someone says I should. Also a lot of the physical things I do such as my hair style are due to my Dyspraxia, I can’t stand having certain lengths of hair, it makes me feel ill, so I can’t, I can’t wear certain clothes. My skin crawls and I feel like vomiting.

I have depression, most likely due to the years of discrimination I have been subject to – get told you are stupid, and ugly and wrong often enough and you will start to believe it. Even my family don’t help, I’m never good enough even for my family, if I can’t be good enough for them why would I be good enough for the rest of the world.

Logically I know it’s because they don’t want me to face discrimination, but even if I tried to mainstream my behaviour and appearance It would never be enough and I would still be unhappy just for different reasons.

I have had to put up with years of being told I was lazy in academic settings, and then told I can’t get x,y, or z job because I don’t fit the look – for an office job.

I’ve seen people with controllable mental health issues have sustained periods of illness due to maltreatment at the hands of so called professionals.

It’s these experiences that have taught me that at the end of the day, everyone has to deal with some sort of problem due to the way society is, and that only by fully educating people on issues can we get rid of them.

I don;t believe in feminism, or masculism, or fighting for x rights for one group and x for another. I fight for the rights of all people, in all walks of life at all times.

also I find it amusing seeing this now that masculism is a word I’ve apparently just made up…

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Clear the way!

Clear the way!

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November 25, 2012 · 2:16 am

Disabled people are people too, they do not lose their human-ness

Something I have never understood is why society always looks down on people with any sort of disability from mainstream society. Their is a huge stigma still attached to a family with a disabled child;

“What did the mother do when pregnant?”,

“What did the family do that they were punished with a disabled child?”

These are things which are fairly common to hear when conversations about birth defects are seen in society.

Sorry to tell you this, baby they were born that way, unless that person was involved in an incident which lead to a head injury, or they were born addicted to crack, heroin or alcohol, it’s most likely simple genetics. There can be environmental factors, and there can be issues with how a person is raised, but most people with any form of mental difference (mental illness, learning disability etc) are born that way to faulty genes.

I work in a residential home for people with such severe learning disabilities that most of them can’t communicate properly.

I get asked regularly;

How do I cope?,

Does it not drive me mad that they can’t speak?,

How do I know what they want?

Why bother doing that sort of job?

Easy, they are still people, with opinion, and preferences, favourite colours, favourite songs, food preferences and and the ability to show me if they do not approve of what I am doing.

I just have to be a bit more patient, a bit more observant, and a little more quick to think than I otherwise would be.

They  love going to the pub on a night out with family and friends, going to the cinema, the theatre, one resident loves musicals, one likes art, another like going for a wander in less humanized areas, and so goes on nature hikes. These are people that society has written off on the whole, and yet they are so much more then their list of illnesses.

Same with mental illness, now in the case of people who know they are ill and refuse to seek treatment I can understand mistrust, however I would mistrust someone who had a heat defect that they knew of and did not seek treatment for. And I am not necessarily talking about medication, I know that their is more than medical help available for those that medication does not help.

Mental illness is something that will touch nearly every person at some point in their life. Whether it be mild stress related illness, or a full blown episode of recurring psychotic schizophrenia. This does not mean that they deserve to be shunned, or talked about in hushed tones.

Mental illness has a huge stigma attached to it, because we wont talk about it. It’s this huge taboo in much the same way that sex is in many cultures – and look where that problem is getting us! Many people do not know any real facts about mental health, and yet will quite happily talk about “that person on the street, who must be (x illness) because of (x behaviour)”.

People would not talk in the same way about someone with a heart defect, why should it be socially acceptable to do so with mental health?

Understandably most people know nothing beyond what the media portray, but lets face it if we let the media tell us how to behave, we would never leave the front door without a hazmat suit and full safety equipment – is it that hard to believe that just maybe their portrayals of mental health might be wrong.

They aren’t all axe wielding murderers, sorry, most people live perfectly average lives, with maybe the odd bit of time of work “for personal reasons” while they have a bad episode. most people with a form of mental health issue, you would never know.

But as soon as they are outed, it’s all;

“Well I never trusted x, I always knew they were a bit wrong!”

“And they let x near the children! what is the world coming too!”

“But does x really x seems so normal“.

And there persons and peoples is the problem. “Normal” what is “normal” I have to ask this, it deviates depending on where you live, what your race is, what your age is, what you gender is, what your sexuality, where you were born, how much money you have, what country you live in, what your religion is, etc.

Now I don’t know about you, but is something that changes depending on all these, and more, factors really all that important.

If all of these factors change what “normal” is, does it even exist, should we use it as a measuring stick for people who are just a tiny bit more different. Their problem being that they were raised slightly differently, or have that one faulty gene?

OR should we collectively get our heads out of our asses and just get over it, stop making it and issue, and deal with the fact that people are not now, and never will be able to conform to “normal”

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